theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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