used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
