she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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