New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
