She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
