it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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