i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
