I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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