I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
