well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
