I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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