Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize