walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
