his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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