no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
