I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
