The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
