It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize