A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
