Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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