Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
