My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
