I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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