he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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