I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
