I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize