booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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