he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
