Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
