You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
