just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
