**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
