My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
