i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
