Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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