If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
