just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
