u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
