Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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