Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
