1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
