My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
