But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
