He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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