You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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