i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
