Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
