Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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