worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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