he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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