I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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