i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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