Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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