I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
