i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
