belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
