This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
