I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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