This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish you could order shots online.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
