life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize