O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize