white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i scared a bird with my dick
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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