We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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