She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
