Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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