normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
