I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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