So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
