Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I CAN MOONWALK!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
