Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
