I'm eating all of the evidence.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Bring me that man meat
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
