I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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