mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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