He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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