please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
